jetlag poetry
touche
(exit)
I keep this gun in the bible you gave me
it chases my demons down deep alleyways
ending in surreal gun fights that always
feature a helpless puppy
cowering in some corner
I need such reason to know I’m chasing
something more than an obsession
that this trainwrek is worth all
the popping pressure worth all the
pinprick pain (like chinese water torture:all in the mind
this is just an exit...
into an Orwellian stagedive, this
sin-king wonderland doesn’t welcome
me
I was the one who gave them black mariahs
and streetwise poetboys –that spout the
end of the world from pretty lip`stick
smothermouths- the filth of the street
black roes in summer can’t cover
up my cementary vials: the blanche neige
c’est mort
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140,870 Literary Works • 673,696 Reviews
This was great, it flowed so well. The (French? am I right?) at the end was a good ending. But like liz said take out the 'The' in: "and streetwise poetboys –that spout the"
But very good work.
I love this. It flows really well; each word and line seems to rush into the other.
One thing: "and streetwise poetboys –that spout the"
I think it would be better if you took the "the" to the line below; it will make it flow even better.
Good work!